December 21, 2008

warm hearts, soft shoulders, protective arms; the ministering of angels

my sister and i attended church in a different ward of our stake today. we listened to the beautiful music performed and the touching talks and lessons given. in each of the three meetings, it felt as though my fresh wound of not being a seminary teacher was reopened. in one of the meetings, it was too much to handle - i had to leave the room before my sobs became obvious and distracting. i found a sofa to sit on, put my hands over my face, and let it all loose.

a few seconds later i felt kind arms wrap me in a hug and ask, "lacey, what's wrong?" it was my bishop's wife. this lady is a saint in every meaning of the word. she waited for my sobs to die down and then asked the question again. through the warm tears streaming down my face, i slowly explained the reason for my tears. it was only then that i realized the extent of the hurt I felt and all the reasons for it.

i was grieving the love i had for my students, the loss i would soon have to face of not teaching, the absence of the one thing that motivated me to wake up in the morning.
my angel held me close as the tears and sobs continued. eventually, my tears slowed and my breathing went back to normal. she gave tender advice and loving encouragement. she helped me remember the positive aspect of "closed doors."

i know Heavenly Father loves me. i know He is watching over me. i know my life is in His hands. i know there are angels among us - and i am so grateful for each and every one of them.