rising above the clouds

back at thanksgiving and Christmas i traveled to different coasts to spend time with family.

how did i travel? by airplane, of course!
i love traveling in any way, shape, or form.

but traveling by airplane provides a special wonder.



while i was in portland, the weather had its good days and its very dreary days. i left to return home to utah on one of those dreary mornings. cloudy, dark, and threatening rain.

i watched out the window as we flew upwards, straight through extremely thick layers of dark gray clouds.
it seemed we were being held captive by a dark marshmallow world for several minutes.
and then it released us at last.
it was truly like we were in a different time and place.
the sun gleamed radiantly.
blue sky, clear as you can imagine, stretched out above us.
below us, an endless pillow of dark grey.

in that moment, i realized how clearly symbolic that was to my life. these last six months i've frequently thought back to that scene and the beauty it captured.
the contrast between the sad sight below the clouds and the happy sunlight above them.

writing about that experience, i feel like it happened only a few weeks ago.
and yet at the same time, it could have happened years ago by how january feels like forever away.

this semester of student teaching could probably be summed up as the hardest semester of my life -
and if you know me, you know full well that's saying something.
life is hard. everyone knows it. everyone is experiencing it.

life under my clouds included a daily runaround to:
wake-up on time {mornings are not my favorite. by any means.}
try to get ready without waking up my roommate.... too many times {i didn't realize how loud and clumsy i am!}
drive the whole way to the school, a nice long commute through stupid awful utah construction
navigate my way through teaching seventh graders health topics....like human reproduction
navigate my way through expectations of a seasoned teacher that seemed almost impossible to meet
try not to be too critical of my many mistakes {oh wait...is that possible?}
try to find enough energy to make it through the day without the sleep to provide it
discipline by being firm enough! {i can be a pushover....}
leave school before five.... no, let's say seven-thirty?
hope to not completely crash asleep on my bed fully clothed when i get home
attempt to be social in some way or another


i was often consciously aware of the four months lacking sunshine.
i truly went through periods of darkness and gloom spanning weeks.

i wanted to rise above the clouds. i wanted to see the light.
i wanted to feel it on my skin and soak in the happiness that sun could bring.

well, with my inability to keep up with any kind of schedule except go to school, come home and crash, repeat, i had not allowed the Sonlight in to feed my tender roots that were dying by being malnourished.

i was reminded of helaman 5:12 the other day ---

And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.

greg olsen - abide with me

i have to continually build my foundation on Christ -- i can't simply stand there waiting around. i have to actively work on it. if i do that, i can then rest assured that the devil in all his many efforts will not be able to drag me down.

i choose Sonlight. i have had enough cloudy days for my liking.
i want to rise above them now.
bring on the light.
bring on the hope.
bring on the love.




p.s. i really do get to rise above the clouds because i'm done with everything required for graduation. done with my senior project from he** :) and i'm done with my assignments. i'm done with college.
i'm done!!!!

ed week ~ top five

the top five things i learned at byu education week were:

5. to be grateful for my physical body
last school year, while subbing for an elementary school teacher, i heard the phrase "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit"... and well, it stuck. this phrase comes to my mind every time i realize there is something in my life that i can do very little - if anything - to change. i have been given the blessing of a body and to take it for granted it pointless and harmful. i need to protect myself from negative body image because i already know where that leads me... right now i must learn acceptance and peace.


4. obedience brings joy and peace
education week gave me a chance to assess my own 'obedience level' in a kind of way. i consider myself an obedient soul... for the most part. well, i guess i'm what you'd call run-of-the-mill in the obedience category. i'm good at following the rules in some things, and i'm a downright failure when it comes to others. i've got a stubbornness that, especially when silent, can be even more deadly than when i'm vocal about my opinion. anyway, education week opened my eyes to some areas in my life that could use some "cleaning up." ezra taft benson said, "the best measure of who we are is how Christlike we are." one of the presenters made the point that the more obedient we are, the more valuable we are to the Lord. of course there are times in our lives when we have not been obedient, but for those times one presenter said, "we cannot go backward, but we can say 'never again!'"


3. the difference between "true" and truth
there are things in life that are true, but they're more or less than truth. truth, on the other hand, is eternal, saving principles. satan doesn't tell bold-faced lies, he tells us 'true' things. but remember, 'true' things aren't the truth! let's clarify this concept by giving an example -----
    true: some are more attractive than others, some are thinner than others, some are taller than others, they're expensive to maintain, they age over time and eventually skin starts to sag.

{depressing, isn't it? but all true}

  truth: satan and one-third of the hosts of heaven were denied physical bodies when exiled from God's presence; bodies are necessary to become like God and experience the fullness of joy.


2. God is still a God of miracles
God is unchanging. we are the ones who change, dwindling in unbelief. He is trustworthy, we just need to learn to trust in Him. it is after the trial of our faith that we receive miracles and boy! do we need miracles day-by-day! miracles come in all shapes and sizes -- answered prayers, comforts, inspirations, angels found in friends, and even angels unseen. miracles are a witness of God's love for us and they have the power to transform us, but again we must remember: faith precedes the miracle.


1. even more gratitude for Christ and His Atonement
no matter what happens in my life, there is always one constant: Jesus Christ. that is the main reason for going to education week - knowing that somewhere in every lesson is the testimony of the plan of salvation and our Savior's Atonement. each time it is taught about, i learn something new and my testimony is strengthened and grows. the following are things i found particularly touching:
*we are never alone - the Savior's whole role is to run to us, to comfort and heal us when we are struggling. pain is not evidence of the absence of God's love, rather the opportunity to humble ourselves and receive the Savior. He is the one person who knows that pain we feel inside, he knows our hearts. the Savior is the one who will always be there for us, never leaving us alone.
*we can do all things with God's help - 100% of all things when we rely on Him. mercy drenches the plan of salvation. as long as we rely on our Heavenly Father, we have no reason to fear. we are able to do all that is asked of us, anything that is put in our path.
*Christ is the healer of souls, advocate, comforter: this is the resurrected Savior. the complete and infinite atonement covers everything. learning about the Savior, truly understanding His love for us and His power to save us from ourselves can change our hearts.

against the odds

it would seem as though forces were working against me as i put my efforts into getting to byu education week each day.

tuesday morning i woke up feeling perfectly fine - except for the excruciating scratchy and searing pain running all the way down my throat. i was worried it was strep throat - i have been getting sick quite a bit recently, why not just stack that one to the total and call it good? i went in to the doctor's office and got a negative strep test, but he was worried by the severity of my swollen throat and the absence of other symptoms so he put me on an antibiotic and i went home to get some rest.

well, fast-forward to when i woke-up............ at five in the afternoon the next day! the good news? all that sleep seemed to kick the sick right out of me! then i had enough energy and wellness to clean and organize my room to make me feel happy inside and out.

thursday i was convinced that it was going to be a wonderful day; that the challenges of the week were over. then i asked for a ride to byu because i was running late and parking would be a beast by that point. my dad was extremely busy so my sister happy volunteers to drive me. well, if you know what i think of her driving .... don't even get me started on her driving record. but i can assure you this car accident on thursday morning was not her fault.

unfortunately, it was a crash that involved three cars - all with participants of education week. fortunately no one was hurt and i don't think any of the cars were totaled? exciting day, nonetheless!

so for a week full of what i expected to be education week, i only made it to three of the five days. however, what i did get to participate in enlightened, uplifted, and well... altogether just made me feel smarter!

of course i'll post some of the things i learned and a few insights i gained later... just thought i'd fill you in on the adventure i had. until next time, loves!

royal for real

is there any little girl who did not dream of being a princess?

i know i did!

because everyone around our house was gone for the weekend, mom and i went on a date to see the movie "young victoria".

it was delightful and enchanting!

i even teared-up in a few parts. surprise, surprise :)

as we walked out of the theater i told mom,

"i want a love like that."

she replied, "oh lacey, love is like that. if it isn't like that, it isn't really love."

that left me with a good feeling inside. one day....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and while we're on the topic of royalty, i have been bouncing this analogy around in my head ever since general conference:

the tale of sleeping beauty is strikingly similar to the plan of salvation.

think about it!

we were born on earth, away from our Heavenly Parents and without recollection of life before now. we struggle to find out who we are and are prepared - through trial and tribulation - for life in God's presence. satan definitely tries his hardest to keep us from understanding our full potential, but in the end we know who wins. in the end we shall be kings and queens.

maybe you'll find that thought silly or inconsequential, but it has made me really ponder this last week about the purpose of life and the roles we play here on earth. i, for one, want to gain that royal title and be royal for real.

"my war"

about a month ago i blogged about my plan of salvation lesson and a student who wrote a poem. well, i finally got permission from her to post it. it is simple, sweet, beautiful, but most of all powerful. she amazes me. this poem motivates me. a 14 year-old, spur of the moment, created this work of art. matthew 5:14-16 "... let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father, which is in heaven." oh how i love the gospel!

"my war"
mikelle christensen

i am a warrior. a courageous soldier.
sent in the front lines of battle to conquer my personal enemy.
it's midnight and i'm surrounded by hate and temptation, the devil and his army.
my stars twinkle above me, giving me strength.
i perilously fight for hours on end.

then finally the Son rises and lights the morning.
the enemy fades away, and He walks toward me. i drop my sword.
he comes and embraces me, tears rolling down our cheeks.
brother and sister are reunited.

He conquered my enemy for me.
He healed my wounds of neglect.
He healed my heart of weakness.

He lovingly helped me in war, covering up my weak moments,
aiding me in the trial of battle, though i did not know it.

now, because of His love, i can go home.

all i can say is amen.

perfection and elder uchtdorf

sunday is such a beautiful part of each week. it's the one day i can be lazy and not feel bad about it. afternoon naps are a necessity, sometimes more than one! but it's more than that. sunday is a whole day set aside for me to refocus my life and priorities. it almost feels like time stands still. i am relaxed and myself. someone once told me that young single adults are sometimes busier than moms who go to school and work (ok, so you'd need to understand the context). she said that because there are those crazies of us who pack our schedules to the highest capacity. i dream of being superman with no "kryptonite", which would allow for perfection.

well, most of my life i have been a perfectionist. a die hard perfectionist. this has plagued every aspect of my life, but specifically the spiritual realm. the last verse in matthew 5 is just one place in the scriptures where it mentions the need for God's children to be perfect, even as He is. now, anyone educated in the gospel knows that we are not expected to be perfect in this life. we are to give our 'all' = our best, and that is enough for now. but where is that fine line between making sure you're trying to your utmost ability and not trying hard enough? this is a constant debate in my mind. most times this results in a belief that i'm failing because i'm not "good enough" - i think satan must work hard to have me sustain this belief.

this is why president dieter f. uchtdorf's talk at the relief society general broadcast last night was perfect, with impeccable timing. (**to go to the main rs gen broadcast page click here or you can click here to go straight to the video clip. just install the plug-in [which is quick, easy, and painless] and go to "dieter f. uchtdorf - he's at the end of the line-up.) don't get me wrong, i truly loved the whole broadcast! these women are inspired and they love relief society and all the women of the church. i just mean to say that president uchtdorf's talk was quite pertinent and extremely prevalent to each and every member of the church.

i am not, however, able to immediately rid myself of this ridiculous need for perfection. it comes line upon line and precept upon precept. i know my Heavenly Father loves me. at times i can just see him looking down from heaven saying, "lacey, lacey, lacey .... don't you get it? it's going to be ok. stop worrying. you're doing your best, don't punish yourself in vain." it's then that i can feel his arms around me, warming my heart and soothing my troubled mind. i love my Father in Heaven. i love my Savior Jesus Christ. i am so grateful for the knowledge i have of the restored gospel on the earth today and for my testimony of things unseen. i do not know or understand a whole lot, but i do know that the Lord will take care of the rest if i will just seek to do His will to the best of my ability. i am so blessed. i'm not perfect. and yet i'm so greatly blessed.

temptations and the devil

how fitting that i should give a lesson on matthew chapter 4 this week. this is where Christ is tempted by satan three times. i've learned so very much while preparing this lesson! how beautiful it is that christ experienced the three categories of temptations that He would be able to understand all that we go through!

appetite, pride, and power

every temptation we endure is categorized under one (or more!) of these three temptations. Here is a rendition of the temptation i feel plagues me most often.

astounded

for the last week, i've been teaching my students about the plan of salvation. we've discussed the plan in general, how the Savior is the center of the plan, and why it is so vital for us to locate ourselves in its framework. we've discussed revelation 12 and moses 1 (amazing chapters, just fyi ... if you haven't read them in a while, you should look them up again) and how we are the sons and daughters of God. we've discussed the war in heaven and how that war is still being waged - every single day - within us and around us. then i played a classic efy song called "fearless heart" and let the students write their thoughts, feelings, testimony, etc down in their journals.

the outcome was amazing. specifically from one student who is extremely mature and intelligent for her age. she wrote a poem about the war she is waging. it is one of the most powerful poems i've ever read, and quite revealing of her circumstances and her strength. this incredible poem that was written in the spur of the moment inspires me to work harder to become the person i have potential to be.

the main point of her poem? that though the war of hatred and temptation surrounds us with darkness, it is the Son that brings the brightness of the morning to chase our enemy away. it is our Savior, our elder brother - who suffered for us and redeemed us, fighting for us in our weak moments, lovingly guiding us to the victory - who heals our wounds and our hearts, saving us from pain and neglect we've felt and experienced.

she knows she is a daughter of God and to whom she can go for love, support, strength, and healing. i am continually impressed, amazed, shocked, and astounded by the way my students live their lives. this girl is an example to me. as are all these blessed souls that grace me with their presence. how truly blessed i am. the youth of the church are amazing. i love them. and i love my job.