grateful for my eating disorder

the holidays are over.
it's the new year.
back to the daily grind.

.....that sounds so sad!

i hope your celebrations were wonderful and full of joy!


this post had a difficult time coming together the way i wanted, but this morning my sister shared a link on facebook and it was the missing key!
this is a topic i feel extremely passionate about:

healthy food relationships.

for me, this holiday was different than any other year.
not because i was away from parents, siblings, and the most adorable niece ever.

3-yr coin received at e.d.a.

this holiday is the first i can consciously remember where food was not my primary focus.
though i've been active in recovery for three and a half years, it definitely has not been perfect.

back in 2010 i received a one year token in e.d.a. {eating disorders anonymous}, then promptly "fell off the wagon" in big ways and had to start over.
it's interesting to read that post because i still had not uncovered all the contributing factors and memories explaining why i initially felt the need to use food to fill the emotional void created when i was a young child.


it took me a long time to accept recovery because, especially when it's a new experience, triggers could be found lurking anywhere at any time.
however, now i know the reasons i went looking for such horrible coping techniques and it has become much easier to refrain from those behaviors.

say "no" to unhealthy food relationships!

for most of my life, though, everything revolved around what food i would eat, what i wouldn't eat, what i shouldn't eat, how to cope with food, and how to live with myself when i went against my "food belief system."

it became very evident to me how much substantial change i had accomplished within just this past year because past triggers no longer affect me the way they used to.
now i have many positive coping skills -- growth has been difficult to achieve, but i'm starting to reap the benefits.

i believe in healthy relationships with food yet am surrounded by a world that doesn't fully understand how devastating their unhealthy food beliefs can be; what they can lead to.


reading this fabulous "letter to mum" article helped me figure out the worst part of the holidays this year:

other people.

now don't get me wrong, i love people and spending time with them.
i say "other people" because i didn't realize how prominently unhealthy relationships with food dominate and pervade societal norms these days.

the fact that i didn't realize this until now probably sounds so very selfish.
and i guess i have been quite self-absorbed when it comes to healthy food habits.

i have only recently popped my head out of the sand to see what's going on in the world around me.
previously, i believed i was one in a minority who struggled so strongly with healthy food habits and thoughts.

this is not so.

i found that an absurd amount of people, especially {but not limited to} the female population, are obsessed with food thoughts and negative body image almost as much as i used to be when i was active in my eating disorder.


i truly can't think of the last time i was around food without hearing at least one person say, "oh goodness, i shouldn't be eating this - but it's just too yummy" or "i am going to get so fat."

has our culture simply created more health-conscious people?

i don't think that's it!
health is certainly an important subject and one dear to my heart!
however, it seems that our culture is steeped in the belief that only thin people "deserve" to eat unhealthy things. no normal person should be eating any sweets or "holiday foods" because they make people fat and "that would be the worst thing in the world."

guess what?!
being fat isn't the problem.
believing it is makes us extremely susceptible to negative body image.

our negative body issues and unhealthy food relationships have led to "fat-shaming."
what's the deal!?! have we not yet understood that hating our bodies leads to even worse relationships with food, not better?


one of my older sisters served a mormon mission in south africa.
{the same sister who the awesome article today that i'll show you in a second}
one of the ladies she worked with in africa told her that, as women, we are constantly in the process of gaining or losing weight.

this novel idea provoked understanding that until we can love our bodies exactly how they are at any given time, we will be in a battle of wills with our body.

found here -- good article fighting 'fat talk'
i apologize for the language in this image... still, it depicts perfectly the battle of wills i'm talking about.

maybe it's that i've fought with food, weight, and body image for about two decades?
maybe it's that being forced off my acid reflux medicine for a week and a half at the beginning of december gave me a renewed love for the ability to eat without feeling horrendously ill?

whatever the reason, i'm grateful.
because of my experiences i have renewed passion for being over and done with food obsessions.



the song i want to share today comes from my very favorite Christmas present:

my eating disorder and related issues have made me a better persongoing through adversity can make you stronger; a warrior.
especially because i know what healthy is and i know what it is not.



now...do i absolutely love my body right now?
haha no.... i would love to lose weight. but for the first time in my life i am holding to the desire to be emotionally healthy over being thin.

going off all four of my medicines at once created a perfect opportunity for me to understand how much damage i have done to my body over the span of the last couple decades. it's amazing to see how my body reacts to the stress i've put it through. i feel so grateful to God that my body is able to function as well as it does considering all that i've put it through.

i'm not going to hate on it anymore.

i am grateful for my eating disorder because of the lessons it taught me and the gratitude it created in me for my body, however imperfect it may look or seem to others.

i'm grateful for my eating disorder because i have a healthier view of food and body image than most people i know. .....that seems insane! but it's true!



great article: what is normal eating?
best quote from it {originally from ellyn satter}:

“normal eating is going to the table hungry and eating until you are satisfied. it is being able to choose food you like and eat it and truly get enough of it—not just stop eating because you think you should. normal eating is being able to give some thought to your food selection so you get nutritious food, but not being so wary and restrictive that you miss out on enjoyable food. normal eating is giving yourself permission to eat sometimes because you are happy, sad or bored, or just because it feels good. normal eating is mostly three meals a day, or four or five, or it can be choosing to munch along the way. it is leaving some cookies on the plate because you know you can have some again tomorrow, or it is eating more now because they taste so wonderful. normal eating is overeating at times, feeling stuffed and uncomfortable. and it can be under-eating at times and wishing you had more. normal eating is trusting your body to make up for your mistakes in eating. normal eating takes up some of your time and attention, but keeps its place as only one important area of your life. in short, normal eating is flexible. it varies in response to your hunger, your schedule, your proximity to food and your feelings.”

ahh! this is so fabulous!!!

that right there is the ideal! this is what healthy looks like!

health must be the focus now = normal eating. the "should's" and the "should not's" are unimportant!
i want to make sure my relationship with food is healthy so that i can positively influence others rather than adding to the barrage of crazy food issues already out there.

the article shared by my sister today:

the new year's resolution every parent on the planet should make

if i ever have the chance to create a family, i want to make sure my habits and mindset are healthy so i don't influence negative body image or self-hatred.

sooooo important!!


other great articles to read on the subject:

*have you found your inner 'normal eater'?

*in a complicated relationship...with food

*how's your relationship with food in reno nevada // *intuitive eating

*is there such thing as complete recovery from disordered eating?

*it's all in your head - part 2 - eating healthy
*mindful eating, no dieting

alright.

i'll get off my pedestal :)

why i wear green {and} red

my annual Christmas red-and-green-apparel tradition started again on december 1st.
i truly get more excited about the month of december than i do about my birthday.
Christmas joy is a specific brand of happiness that i am addicted to.

Christmas 2006 {i think}

i am going to be honest, though.
no matter what reasons i've given to people in the past for dressing in only red and green for 25 days, the truth is that i am being purely selfish. it's simply an added benefit that others seem to get a jolt of Christmas spirit because of my selfishness, but that isn't why i started and it's not why i continue my tradition.

Christmas 2011

i can't remember how long i've been doing this tradition --- it's been at least 8 years, but it may have started before that. {i don't have the best memory in general, so when i try to venture into memories of high school years it's just a haze of awfulness.}

the red and green tradition, at its core, is an attempt to increase my happiness level and distract myself from struggles that often come looking for me during the winter months.

i've discussed my eating disorder, self-harming, and depression here before so just to be clear: that is what i'm talking about. while the end of the year has my absolute favorite season {autumn} it can also hold some of the most challenging days of the year for those dealing with food and other emotional "issues." halloween, thanksgiving, Christmas, and new year's happen all within a 60 day period and the emotional roller-coaster associated with these holidays is set full-speed ahead.

*prepare to get motion sick*

my obsession with red and green clothes/accessories all month to celebrate Christmas was my conscious effort to focus on not wearing normal clothes but rather the colors that would keep my mind on the things that really mattered: Christ.

i was in college for so long and december was a mount-everest-sized hike in my stress level. "wearing Christmas" helped me keep things in perspective and not completely lose my mind.

Christmas 2005

did it always help me to stay away from negative behaviors and self-talk?
no.

did it decrease those instances and lead to an increase in Christmas joy?
yes.


why am i bringing this up now?
i no longer participate in eating disorder or self-harming behaviors so i'm all good, right?

Christmas 2012

this year i turned 26 and lost my health insurance from my mother's employment.
i was blessed to have it this long.
while i attempt to get into grad school out here in the east coast, i don't have a full-time job and i'm trying to at least get a part-time job.... but i've been met with many roadblocks.

the combination of these circumstances have forced me to wean myself off my depression, anxiety, and fibromyalgia medications.

now don't mistake me.
i am a huge supporter of pharmaceuticals.
{obviously, taken only when needed}
but heavens! medicine is a God-send in these modern days so why not use it???

however, seeing as now i'm in the waiting game for obamacare to help me out of my personal pickle, it's necessary for me to slowly go off my very highly-dosed meds.

i'm almost to the end of my supply and it has been quite an interesting experience.
since i've been on my certain medication "cocktail" for so many years, it's odd adjusting to the lack of chemical support for my emotional and physical needs.

i have had both fibromyalgia and depression/anxiety since i was a young child, so it is fair to say i don't really know what life is like without these conditions.

it is better, i think, having left my "old life" behind because everything here is new.
anytime a past memory comes into my mind i get to choose what to do with it and i know the healthy thing is to simply accept its lesson and let it go. it's easier to see the separation of reality when i am removed from what used to be intertwined in my disorders.


so far i have done pretty well.
there was a really bad day and a half when it was difficult to for me to separate the fog.
when the emotions in your heart are so strong, sometimes it doesn't matter that your head knows it is not reality ---- especially for such a feelings- and intuition-based person like me.



however, i have good support here.
no, it is amazingly superb support.


and though the occasional thought to resort to a behavior i used in a past life comes up, i know so many tools now to help me through.
more than that, i know who i am and whose i am. i know that the only way through this is by God's mercy and grace. i am awe-struck at how much He truly cares individually for each one of His children.
i know, without a single doubt in my heart or mind, that my body is able to handle this difficult transition so well because of a loving Father in Heaven.

now, there's a song from a movie that i haven't seen yet but it is sung by one of my very favorite artists and it has captured my heart.

i've been a fan of demi lovato's for years -- since the beginning of her disney career! her voice is amazing and her music isn't the same ol' stuff over and over again. she deals with real issues and authentic emotion.

ok.... being honest... i also appreciate that she's experienced similar struggles and that she started working on recovery when i was also trying to give it all my effort. maybe that's why i've always been able to find such meaning in her songs?

i don't know.


what i do know is that everyone struggles.
the trials we each experience are not the same and the circumstances aren't, either.
however, it's the feelings that matter.

our trials provoke emotions that allow us to empathize with others ---

they bring tolerance, love, and compassion towards people we may not have otherwise had the patience to try and understand.

of course, we have the choice to allow our experiences to make us bitter or we can let them change us into better human beings.
if we choose the latter, that means letting go...

of the heartache

the loneliness

the pain

all the sorrow

this song from disney's frozen has so many meanings for me
it's beautiful
and right now it's my motto/theme....




love love love love love!!!!
sooooo.....


though it isn't a completely Christmasy reason that i dress up for the month of december, it is a sentimental custom. we all celebrate in our own ways.

this year i have fewer red and green clothes because of my move, but i'm so very grateful for my family who mailed me the packages of love that enabled me to hold on to my tradition.

it has become a part of who i am.
a part of my recovery.
a part of my joy.

happy holiday traditions to you!!!

and may you let all the other stuff go, at least for now :)

scary monsters

i've talked about this on here before.
and i make references to it a lot....

but today i'm coming right out and discussing my monsters.
because there really are scary monsters

most of them we create for ourselves
they instill in us fear, anxiety, and a desire to give up all together
....and all the while, some of those monsters began as little imaginary friends who helped us deal with our problems and manage our stress.

found here

we watch superman, spider-man, captain america, etc.
that's all well and good.

but when it comes to our own scary monsters, are we waiting for someone else - our theoretical superhero - to save us from them? because these monsters will not be dealt with until we first acknowledge them fully and choose to deal with them completely.

found here

these monsters don't just go away. they get very attached.
you have to come up with your own plan of action.


and that's where this post truly starts ----
a friend asked me

how do i know i'm truly recovered?

{if you're asking "recovered from what?" this post will help you. besides eating disorders, there have been issues with self-harm, depression and suicidal ideation, and more}


well.... that's a difficult question!
first of all, let me say that i came across this little poem that really resonated with me.

found here

i would venture to say that i have known addiction for 20 of my 25 1/2 years of life.
i have known depression... for at least 18 years of it.
major depression.
oh the years of therapy.
the years of changing medications!
the money....

haha i just have to laugh because it's in the past. it's my past.
and it's made me who i am.


today in positive psychology we watched this youtube clip so many people in the class talked about how they could relate. i quietly soaked it in and agreed with what they were saying.
this is a good way to represent what depression can be.



because my black dog came early in life, i didn't truly understand what it was.
i didn't know what life was like or who i was without it.
yet, to be devoid of feeling or lower-than-neutral made it easy to seek out my own coping mechanisms because i hadn't really learned any healthy ones on my own.

sad things that had happened in my life were pushed deep down inside where i couldn't remember them but if could somehow feel that things were not right.
i constantly isolated unless i received extra energy and confidence from my eating disorder.
these things became my identity.

i truly believed that i was a black dog.

but there became a point when every bad behavior
every negative thought
and any stressful situation all combined to create the scary monsters

i wasn't just a black dog, but i was running from the very things i had run to for comfort. still... i hadn't yet learned any new skills to replace these and became tortured inside.


the truth of the matter is, this continued on into my early 20s.
addictions -- black dogs and scary monsters -- are so difficult to reign in.
...and they can be so tricky sometimes all the time!


so back to the question...... how do i know i'm recovered?

with some things it's easy: i don't do them. time goes by and i still don't do them.
then really hard things happen, and i still don't do them.

with other things i may still have a desire to utilize these monsters as a means to an end.

found here

but then i stop and remember what happens when i go down that road.
how long it takes to truly get rid of the monsters hiding in every corner of every room in the house of my heart once i let one in.... it's just not worth it.

now i know there are many other ways to deal with my black-dog moments and days.

found here

i had the chance to individually spend time with some of my favorite people recently.
i absolutely love quality time.
to be with someone who means so much. the friendship is reciprocated.
these friendships help me know that i am recovered because i don't see pain in their faces anymore.
i know that i am not causing the grief i once was.



i know that i am recovered because i have been to the depths of despair and grief and pain.
and i have been to the other side.
if i had to isolate one single factor that proved to me i am recovered, it is this:

the tender mercies from my Savior.

after struggling to understand the atonement and to feel loved and to prove myself, i had experiences that showed me how real the love of God is. i actually allowed love into a heart that was often prickly under its soft facade. i was allowed to see a miracle in myself.

and then i no longer needed my monsters.

i wasn't doing it all on my own.after this point it was easy to get rid of all the monsters --



i am a happier, healthier, less-stressed version of myself.
and i have to say that i am actually grateful for my "black dog" and the monsters it brought with it.
i know without i doubt that everything i have experienced taught me valuable life lessons that have molded me into the person i am today.
{though i sometimes cringe when i think of who i was in the past... i stop. i love who i am now.}


i needed my monsters to motivate me.
but they have served their purpose and now they are gone.


jonny diaz "a more beautiful you"
{if you have not heard this, you have got to take a listen}

there are no more scary monsters hiding under my bed.

ready to do

with so many things going on in my life, and still being so very blessed, i've had this amazing sense of joy.

maybe you're sick of hearing me say that?

yes, yes, yes.... ask my roommates -- i still have those days that aren't too pretty either. where sad things are sad and there's no way around that. yet through it all, i have an unwavering peaceful joy deep inside that keeps me anchored.

{if you want to know how and why, click on the pictures of Jesus under the headings of "i know who i am" and "i know God's plan" to the right of the page..... don't be afraid to simply learn a little about the religion that makes me so happy and is so very much a part of me!}

having said that, i've felt quite alive and ready to do things! why is this important? well....
i haven't felt this way in so very long!!!
my desire to create things and be adventurous is back!

so what have i done with this desire?
put it to use for a darling roommate's birthday, for one!


here are some adjectives to describe my five new roommates:
amusing and active alli
calm and careful carly
happy and harmonious haley
loyal and logical liza
sassy and sophistocated stephanie


one of them had a birthday last wednesday, so to celebrate i exercised some of my homemaking skills... and then i just kept going! i "caught the bug" and remembered how fun creating can be!

item #1

{supposed to be english toffee.... but it didn't turn out the way it was supposed to. i've probably made this recipe almost a dozen times and it's only ever "flopped" twice. i consider this the second.}

{it was waaaay too soft - at least for my liking. all the roommates said they loved it that way and ate it up fast to prove it! i got the recipe from my aunt susie, but i'll think about sharing it if i make them again and they're successful :) }

 item #2

{for these i needed a funfetti cake mix, but i didn't have one of those..... so i made my own. with flavored sprinkles that i used up before remembering to take a picture and seasonal sprinkles!}

{here's the batter for the "cake batter bars" - doesn't look like a whole heck of a lot but it sure puffed up like crazy in the oven!}

 

{again, i forgot to take a picture until after the roommates got to them, but they were yummy enough to be almost gone before the end of the night. i got the recipe here and then made my own changes. it's a good little recipe!}

item #3

{in order to create a covered book you need a) to know what you're doing b) thin scrapbook paper c) clear contact paper d) paper cutter and scissors e) lots of time, patience, glue sticks, and common sense}

*in case you were wondering ---- no. it took me a while to obtain items a and e. but eventually i got there!
as i obtained item e, i learned the specifics of items b and well, the whole thing. i did things wrong a lot, teaching me what not to do.

{the trick is to cut the scrap book paper even with the length (top/bottom) of the book and have excess trim on the edges (the front and back covers) to fold over}

{another trick is to slather the glue stick on both the paper and the book before applying them together - but make sure you place them in the correct spot the first time because they really will stick}

{with the contact paper, cut enough to have a good sized edge to fold over all around; however, you will cut all four corners off (triangle shape) to be able to fold the edges down neatly without any air bubbles or rippling. try to be precise, but don't be overly cautious. oh. and the book spine edge will be trimmed in the same way}

*{of course i messed up on one of my corners and cut too much contact paper off, so i decided to add a little bit of fancy decor to the front (ha!) in order to create a reason for another layer of contact paper}

{a final piece of decorative paper was placed on the inside of each cover so that the mess of mistakes was partially hidden from view}

item #4
....was a variation on this lady's craft for september's visiting teaching handout.

{though i don't have any pictures of mine, these are quite simple to make if you follow her directions and they're super-cute to give out for the v.t. message!}

from years of craft-making and lots of baking, i have finally come to accept that i will never reach any sort of level of perfection.

and that's ok. really.

it's the mistakes that give each piece of work character.
it's character that makes the work special, valuable, and fun.
each item is unique, and that makes it beautiful --- or at least a nice kind of different.



and of course, isn't that similar to the way we are as children of God?
are we not all special?

valuable? fun? unique? beautiful?

a nice kind of different?

i'm so grateful God gave me a desire to create.
i'm ecstatic this desire has returned.
i'm grateful for the insights i receive about life and people and myself while i create items full of character.

character just like me :)

march...ing right along

is it really almost april? i feel like march just got here! maybe the fact that it is officially spring and thick snowflakes are still falling from the sky has something to do with my disillusionment...

when i haven't been actively participating in school or homework, i have been thinking about how i should be and what a slacker i am for procrastinating. however, it is a struggle between mind and body as i fight to do all-nighters and my body screams "not gonna happen!" as my eyelids flutter close and my brain has no choice but to comply.
...this is what i will look like at the end of the semester:

yes, that is how school is going - mentally exhausting.

but it's good! don't get me wrong! i really do enjoy this journey of becoming a teacher. i can't wait for the day when i actually graduate with my bachelor degree {after seven whole years in college} and say, look at that! i'm done. now what do i do? :)

so... here are some of the fantabulous things from my march:

mom has been working hard, hard, hard on uvu's forum of engaged reading -- it's been a dream of hers and she finally saw it come to fruition. i wish i had taken more pictures, but i was enjoying the whole thing! mom made me pay for myself, you know... :)

 mom's little sister {my aunt annie} was one of the breakout presenters. from all the comments i heard from participants, she was one of the best parts of the whole forum! {and i swear that's not just me being bias!}

i think my personal favorite part of the whole forum was listening to and meeting this woman:

patricia reilly giff ~ she is a marvelous author, enchanting speaker, and all-around fabulous person. i think she was mom's favorite part about the forum, too... if she was allowed to have a favorite {but that's like picking a favorite child,.... even though i suspect most mothers have one :) ...} since patricia reilly giff is one of mom's favorite author's. **pictures of hollis woods makes mom get all tender-eyed.
i could listen to patricia reilly giff talk all day. she's so personable and eloquent. and i adored her personal stories and family history stories, also the way she told us how she incorporated those histories into her books. i just love historical fiction! it was so neat to learn one author's process. it made me want to learn more about my family history.

it also made me want to read all her historical fiction novels! so i dragged mom over to the book store and she promptly bought me all the patricia reilly giff books they had for sale {i was surprised how little i had to say/beg/convince in order to get them!}.


then spring break for uvu came - a much needed break for all in our house, for it was the week after the forum. so mom and dad {with paul} headed off to vegas for a whole week of r&r while i had to stay behind to go to class on that tuesday before the break. i didn't mind too terribly bad because who wants to be away from home on st. patrick's day?? not this irish girl!

{yes, those are flashing clover earrings! awesome, huh? my wonderful friend found them and knew they just had to be mine!}

i made irish soda bread, but i forgot to take pictures! but i took pictures of the jello pastel cookies i made, even though this first batch didn't turn out exactly like they were supposed to :) they still look great and they tasted good, too!

i spent forever wrapping these up and making them look all pretty to give to a girl i visit teach... i put it out of the way - in the dining room - to wait until the next night when i would give it away.

the next night when i got home from school i saw a pink ribbon that looked suspiciously familiar cut and laying on the counter. after further investigation i found green sprinkles when i knew i had cleaned up my mess from the night before!

the conversation went a little like this:

"happy. what is this ribbon?"

"oh. um. i ate some cookies."

"so you opened up a package and ate all the cookies." {not really a question}

"yeah... i thought you gave all the cookies away last night."

"no, happy. this was for the girl i visit teach."

"oh. i feel really bad." .... etc.

happy later asked me to write something on her facebook page about her visit to utah, so here is what i wrote:

 Hap, it was nice having you here. Your presence LIFTS us whenever you're around ......... but next time, hands off the cookies.If they're wrapped in a package, tied with a ribbon, and don't have your name on them - rest assured, they're not your cookies.

she told me she got a huge kick out of it. and her response was:
‎:) I have no excuse. But they were really really good.

that's family for you... and that's pretty much been march for me :)

a very thankful thanksgiving

{thanksgiving ~ november 25, 2010}

turkey trot 2010 -- complete with a thanksgiving abc 'ring-around-the-family' gratitude list.

since jenny and andrew won't be going home for christmas, sundy thought she'd pull out all the stops for a christmasy thanksgiving. place settings were little presents that said "we're grateful for ______". {isn't my sister so crafty?}

in my opinion, it just isn't thanksgiving without our runt-mix cornucopias... although we decided to make brown paper bag cornucopias instead of using sugar cones this year.

of course we had to get a picture of everyone - the andersons on the left, the rudolphs on the right, and... well, me in the middle.

t is going to be the best dad.

though i didn't get a picture, i made the sweet potatoes and the pumpkin pie -- both delicious, if i may say so myself! sundy made sure to let everyone know for the whole week leading up to thanksgiving that she didn't like sweet potatoes and she was probably not going to like the ones i was making. lo and behold! she enjoyed my sweet potatoes. yep, i know...

i can't take all the credit, though. i used this recipe from allrecipes.com (but i greatly reduced the sugar and butter!) and you should definitely try it out. read through the comments, though, because they helped me decide exactly how i wanted to do things.

thanksgiving was a hit! we all watched the thanksgiving episode of the cosby show {hi-lar-ious} and after the rudolphs when home, we watched the nativity story {which i loved!} and felt the coming of christmas!

kazakhstan

craziness and excitement never cease at my home, as you may be able to tell from some of my posts. well, the last week of october was no exception when we once again hosted people from a foreign land like we did here {and countless other times that i simply haven't mentioned, the time previous to this being just last march}. the two lovely ladies we were blessed to have stay with us for the open world program this time were judges from kazakhstan - one a federal judge, the other a supreme court judge.

i was more involved with this hosting experience than i have ever been before because my mom was out of town for business the first couple of days of the experience. it was fun and exciting, but horribly exhausting and i will never take for granted everything my mother does. my father is wonderful and i love him, but he is very easy-going and more "tell me what to do and i'll do it" .... so i would have preferred my mother's expertise :)

at least i love to organize things! but seriously, our house feels more like a hotel... and looks that way too. {and don't judge! we provide coffee, black tea, and green tea because we want to make our guests feel comfortable, even though we don't drink it.}

here's a glimpse of the week we had:

one of the ladies got sick with bronchitis in washington d.c. so we officially met our visitors in the hosipital - very glamorous, let me tell you!

once mom got home, the ladies were excited to present us with presents from their home country.

the fall weather brought an exquisite array of homemade soups by mom - pumpkin soup, beefy vegetable, and creamy cauliflower {which was the biggest hit of the night!!!!}. the ladies loved that we had soup because apparently they eat soup at least once a day at home.

for dessert..... we 'beefed-up' a costco cheesecake with delicious peaches. the ladies had never had cheesecake before, so they couldn't come to america without experiencing cheesecake!

on the last full day of their visit, the ladies graduated from their program...

... and insisted on making dinner for us; an authentic kazakhstanian meal.

{cooking for us}

we provided the dessert :)  = pumpkin cheesecake. oh happy day.

and that is when we presented the ladies with our special gift to them.

it was a wonderful week, full of culture and love and understanding. it definitely was not without its ups and downs! haha when you have two different groups speaking two different languages, misunderstandings happen. mistakes are made even when you have the best of intentions.... what am i talking about?

one particular incident was with bedsheets. yes, bedsheets. you see, having hosted many foreign dignitaries i learned early on that cold is not something they like. no ice, no cold fruit, no cold feet, no cold bodies, no chill, ... everything needs to be warm. well, one of the rooms is in the basement {yeah, that was whole different issue}, which can get a bit chilly if we're not careful. taking this into account, i decided to put flannel sheets on the bed because they would be warmer than anything else... right? well, i guess i just wasn't thinking about the way the sheets looked. 

it was like playing telephone, *she complains to another, who tells another, who tells another, who interprets to us ...... *

we are guessing that the problem was the 'childlike' sheets for a supreme court judge?

i just didn't think about it that way when i put the sheets on!

i know, i know.... i have a lot to learn. thank heavens "mommy" came home and took over the 'problem' so i could claim ignorance and escape blame.

everything ended up alright, and the lady with the flannel lamb sheets stuck with them because she decided they were warmer than anything else. both ladies developed a strong attachment to me and i decided not to hold any grudges :)

one final story: one of the last nights the ladies were here, they were up later than anyone else. they knocked on my door and in usual charades language asked me for what i figured out was a lighter. they were going outside to go smoke. their last words to me as they smiled and went outside were, "secret! don't tell mommy!"