brave enough

a commonly sung birthday song the children in my church sing goes like this:
"another year older and wiser, too; happy birthday to you!"


well... i disagree with part of that ---
my roommates have all agreed to support me in my denial of aging.
i'll stay the same age for another year :)

as i look back on this last year of my life and the experiences that have made me that "wiser" person, it amazes me how much one can change in the course of a year. time is such a funny thing. we wish for it to stand still or go faster or rewind. but no matter how fervently we wish, time marches on at a steady pace and we have no choice but to follow along.



for my birthday my wonderful roommates gave me my new favorite movie: "brave."
have you seen it? if not, go here for a little glimpse at why it might be a fun one to watch.


at the end of the movie, these are princess merida's last words:
"there are those who say fate is something beyond our command. that destiny is not our own, but i know better. our fate lives within us, you only have to be brave enough to see it."


at times i have felt my life was out of my control -- that those things being acted upon me were of greater power and consequence than my own ability to act. yet in those moments i am among those who refuse to take responsibility and instead "blame the witch" for the predicament at hand. what good does that do?

absolutely none.

my fate - my potential for growth and greatness - lies within me, dormant until i actually seek it out and nurture it. my ability to remove myself from unhealthy or negative situations and circumstances must be cultivated, then utilized.



as john taylor once said:
"are we not the framers of our own destiny? are we not the arbitrators of our fate? . . . it is our privilege to determine our own exaltation or degradation; it is our privilege to determine our own happiness or misery in the world to come."




this last year there have been times when i have been brave enough to keep going along a difficult path. i was brave enough to charge head-first into fears and receive whatever outcome was waiting. i have been brave enough to stretch myself with new experiences.

have i been as brave as i could be?

no!

but this is how we get wiser with each passing year.
i am determined to be braver this coming year than the one before.
i will take advantage of the wisdom i've gained thus far and build upon it.

life is to be lived.
are you brave enough?

am i?

...i'm still figuring that out.

the family we choose

"maybe it's not blood bonds that make us a family. perhaps it's the people who know our secrets and love us anyway, so we can finally be ourselves." -- gossip girl


i'm going to be honest. when my parents moved out east for the school year and left my brother and me with no family, i felt alone.

then my brother got a full time job in addition to his full time school. though we may live a mere two yards away from one another, i see him about once a week -- sometimes less (like this last week). when there is so much physical distance between family, it can accentuate any other kind of distance - emotional distance.

i love my family. don't misunderstand me.






what i am saying is that i am finding, being here secluded and left with no physical family (that i actually see, talk to, or spend time with) to speak of, i am creating my own "family."


the family of my own creation is one made up of roommates, friends, and mother- and father-figures who can substitute for the real thing. all these people who come to know me, know what makes me who i am, and know my secrets ..... loving me anyway. sometimes loving me because of them.


i just watched "country strong" two and a half times in a twenty-four hour period this last weekend.

{yes, i loved it}

...there's a song called "coming home"

it's my absolute favorite.... it speaks to my heart.

home is not a physical place. it is where we feel safe, comforted, loved, and know that we won't be judged. it is where we join with the family we choose for ourselves - home is created there.

and within that home, having a small taste of the true home our Heavenly Father has waiting for us, we find the motivation, hope, and even the courage to keep going on the road that will bring us back home.

i {heart} toy story 3

i'm in portland visiting my sister and brother-in-law for thanksgiving and my birthday. it's been great.... except that i thought i would get a break from the cold utah weather. i did not expect it to follow me here! but on nights like these, we cozy up with a mug of homemade hot cocoa and watch a good movie.

and how did i not see this gem of a movie until tonight?

i just assumed, like many sequels, it would be more of the same.

not true.

can i tell you how much i loved it?

i really loved it!

i drew so many parallels to my life and to the human experience in general from the fantastic storyline that had me laughing hysterically throughout the whole movie, but of course left me with "warm fuzzies" in the end. actually... there were "warm fuzzies" all through the movie, too! you just can't ask for more than that. and all that - and more - from an animated film?

definitely not what i was expecting!

{not that i don't like animation...}

though it's difficult to pick a favorite part, right now i would have to say that i have two:

**spoiler alert**

1) when the toys have accepted their fate of being thrown into the fire pit and hold hands to face it head-on together... then they're saved.
isn't it at the times when we have finally accepted the crummy circumstances in our lives with the mantra "live and let God" that Heavenly Father often show his hand and perform miracles? those tender mercies remind us that He has always had His hand in our lives, He was simply waiting for us to accept the things we could not change and turn our will -- the only thing that is ours to give -- over to Him.  *love it!*
2) when andy realizes woody is at the bottom of the donation box and the little girl's anticipation tugs at his heart strings. he knows it's time to let go and, even though he thinks he's not ready yet, it's the right thing to do.
i struggle to let go... of memories, of people, of inanimate objects. letting go can be extremely difficult and we can keep putting it off because we are scared of change, of the 'unknown' that can be so uncomfortable. we often feel we're not ready to let go, using that as an excuse to hold on unnecessarily to something that truly only keeps us from growing and 'spreading our wings' per say.

{obviously, when i write "we" i'm really speaking about myself... but please, take what you can use! i love to share.}

so... these were just some thoughts i had on this lovely movie my sister, her husband, and i watched tonight. what did you think of the movie? any thoughts to share?

my media madness

yes, fall is here!

and u.v.u.'s fall break ended yesterday... but i spent today at home as well because i'm still sick. i've spent the whole time being sick (and trying to sleep it off). when i'm not sleeping, i'm coughing and blowing my nose because my body is basically incapable of doing anything else. being sick is no fun, huh? and i feel like i'm always getting sick these days! yucky.

i am pretty sure this go-round is due in large part to stress. i bottle my stress up rather than find healthy, productive outlets sometimes leading to unwelcome viruses nestled in my chest... and throat and nose and you get the idea.

haha! isn't this exactly what so many of us do? i do it!

right before fall break, i had a group presentation in one of my classes that produced a productive class discussion and my head has been churning ever since. for the presentation, my group incorporated the teaching model "socratic seminar" to teach a lesson about healthy relationships contrasted with how the media portrays intimate relationships.

we showed the music video for "love the way you lie" (beware! violent and risque!), a clip from the britney spears glee episode, and the music video for sugarland's "stuck like glue" ---- and we didn't show the katy perry "teenage dream" music video, but we were going to (beware! highly sexual!).

after a whole lesson about the topic and a class discussion, i'm reevaluating the way i view and listen to media. "love the way you lie" was one of my favorite songs! why? the part the rihanna sings was so catchy and intense, it stuck with me and rang in my memory. besides, the song is blasting everywhere! bombarding us on every side is violence, sex, obsession, ... unhealthy relationship behaviors on all counts.

well, if you're interested here's a look at the media i have analyzed so far that i've been consuming --- first, the bad and the ugly:

• glee. i've been a glee-aholic for a while now. the vocals are fantastic. looking at their more recent episodes, now, it seems they're heading in a downward spiral. there is even more sexual promiscuity, a whole episode devoted to questioning the existence of God or any higher power, and the continual pushing of gay agendas. i'm not sure that my love for the show is worth looking past its crassness.
• katy perry ... ugh... what do i say? i am mostly disgusted with her songs. i admit that i do enjoy two of her songs (thinking of you / hot n cold), though the majority of her songs are explicit and the videos just more of the same. what makes me despise katy perry so harshly is that the beats and tunes of her songs are so blasted contagious. if you have the misfortune of turning the radio dial while a kp song is playing, you're bound to land on it just in time to hear an awful line (such as "i kissed a girl and i liked it") that will stay with you all day... and will probably pop up in your mind at random times for endless weeks following the incident. save the children!
• lady gaga. oh heaven help us. and yes, it's heaven's help we need because i believe some of gaga's songs come straight off hell's conveyor belt. you may think that statement a bit harsh, yet i think this is just blowing away the smoke and flare to see clearly the girl standing beneath the chaos. even though some of her songs aren't abruptly sexual, the music videos are borderline gruesome and shove sex into every crevice of each song. i admit i was slow to realize this about lady gaga for i really did enjoy some of her songs that rang through the radio waves. however, it has become increasingly apparent that lady gaga is a singer of catchy songs that lack substance. does she, as an artist have substance? i am simply posing the question. ***regardless of your stance, read this this article for its interesting insights.
• now... i have strong negative opinions about the above mentioned artists and television show. adversely, i have been a fan of many disney stars for a long time and one of those is selena gomez. i think she's a good singer and has great timing as an actor. when i saw a picture advertising her new album "year without rain" i was struck with awe (the bad kind). i am aware that little disney people want to 'stretch their wings' and grow up, making a transition from youth to adult but c.o.m.e. o.n.! she just turned 18! miley cyrus is not even that old! 18 still seems so little to me ... even though i'm only 4 or 5 years older than that. why are all these little girls sexualizing themselves? why are we allowing it? ahhh! society! this is wrong!

ok. off my soap box.

as for media that i like:

• demi lovato. love love love her. her music, too. ok, so she getting a little more 'grown-up' and sexualized, but of all the disney girls she is definitely the least and i like her the most. she also seems to be the most down-to-earth - and that gets lots of points in my book.
• jonas brothers. i am not ashamed to admit it (anymore. ok, so i'm coming out of the closet), i a in love with them. head-over-heels, full-blown jo-bros fan - that's me!!
• bandslam. this is a movie that, yes it has disney kids in it... but it was actually quality! and this isn't coming just from me, a friend who is not a disney fan watched it with me and she conceded that it was a good movie. however, i think it's a great movie. seriously. loved it.
• 500 days of summer. i hated this movie at first. then i watched it a second time with the same friend as mentioned in my bandslam comment. it seems we help each other see things differently? because that is what she did for me and this movie - she changed the way i viewed this movie. now i love it. i hate love/hate the main girl. but i do like that this movie simulates the way we look back on the past and only see certain things. anyway, i liked the moral of the story.
• according to greta. now this is a movie that is true-to-life! this stars hilary duff and, though it's rough and bleak, it's so real and honest. i really enjoyed it and how relate-able it was.
• freedom writers. one of the very best movies ever. if this one doesn't make you want to become a teacher, i don't know what will!

a week of education

it's that time of year again!

i never got the chance to go to efy as a teenager so last year i decided i was going to go to what was - in my mind - the adult version: byu education week! of course, being the poor college student that i am {and have been for the last five years...}, i couldn't round-up enough funds to pay for it all by myself. that's when i learned that if i volunteered my services, i was given free admittance to the entire conference! wow, what a deal!

last year was wonderful! so wonderful, in fact, that i signed up to do it again this year and have been anxiously awaiting for the blessed week to arrive.

and it has! yay! it started today!

so far it's been great. i've been uplifted, edified, felt the spirit, and greatly enjoyed myself. and it's only the first day! that's a good sign, isn't it?

the best part is, this has gotten me out of the house {my reclusive habits} and into 'real life' again. i've rejoined the human race. also, each class is reminding me that my Savior lives and loves me and that Heavenly Father has a plan for me.

really... what more could anyone want?

i am learning more about who i am as a person - as an eternal spirit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

which reminds me about a conversation i had with my mom. she went on a date with my dad on saturday for their thirtieth wedding anniversary

{happy anniversary, love doves!}

and they went to see a movie called "eat pray love" - - - yes, i know... unless you've been living under a rock somewhere between the moon and mars i am sure you have heard something about this movie. well, as she told us her feelings on the movie i realized i didn't need to see it to know i would feel the same way about it.

she feels (and if you have a difference of opinion, please remember this is just that - an opinion) it's a nice movie, clever in parts.... and duh, it's julia roberts and who doesn't love her? {i know i do}... but for those of us who are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we don't need a movie to help us find out who we are. the journey of self-discovery doesn't come from going around the world. we learn our self worth, our eternal identity by looking to heaven while reading the word of God - given to us by his prophets, old and new.

well, at least they got the prayer thing right!

well, for all those of you going to education week, maybe i'll run into you! it's great to rub shoulders with wonderful, faithful saints!

movie night

yesterday was such a fun day! i ran into a friend from elementary school at a surprise sing-in for a teacher at our elementary school. we spent a couple hours talking, then decided to do something later that evening. first we saw this wonderful movie:

i have to admit, i was extremely skeptical about seeing this movie. however, i cannot explain how incredibly fantastic it was! it was just so so so good. i was very surprised. it was hilarious and heart-warming. it was a feel-good, family-friendly movie and still it had something for anyone at any age! this is definitely a movie to buy for my collection. i want to keep it forever and ever.

after that movie we went to ihop to "people-watch" then ended up going to another friend's house to watch another movie. we decided on:

this was another movie i had been skeptical about seeing. though it was long, i was again surprised by how much i truly loved this movie! it was extremely intense and action-packed, yet full of love and hope and charity. it left me with a happy, content feeling that humanity is not completely going down the toilet.

with a night full of friends and a rejuvenation of hope, who could ask for anything more? it is at these times i remember what really matters in life. it really is true what they say -- it's a wonderful life.

striped pajamas

my mother stumbled upon this jewel:

click here or here for a description of the movie, and here for the actual movie website.

in my opinion, this film is the most beautifully, masterfully, and exquisitely produced movie i have ever seen in my entire life.

never before have I seen something that taught so brilliantly such an important lesson.

starting about when i was ten or eleven years old, i read anything and everything i could get my hands on, when it concerned three subjects:
1) world war II and the holocaust
2) the titanic
3) anastasia romanov
i don't know if the fact that i was so enthralled in three tragic events of history reveals something about me or not, but i was absolutely hooked. thankfully, my mother is a connoisseur of children's literature and a professor. there was never a shortage of reading material in our home. of the three subjects listed above, the one that provided the most literature was the holocaust.

i am a firm believer that the memory of such a tragic event in history must be kept alive. it is imperative to the future that we learn from the past.

the boy in the striped pyjamas makes the holocaust more comprehensible to young minds. this is a movie that needs to be seen - at least once - by everyone. seeing from a child's eyes brings clarity to a cloudy world. as the quote from the movie's opening credits says:

"childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights, before the dark hour of reason grows."

-- john betjeman

it's beginning to look a lot like christmas

aren't these photos so picturesque of winter? don't they make you want to cuddle up next to the one you love, drinking hot cocoa and singing of chestnuts, jack frost, and eskimos?

why yes of course! except that these pictures were taken on the night of april 15th and yesterday morning, april 16th.

how on earth could this happen, you ask? your guess is as good as mine. on wednesday, april 15th i spent the day with two of my favorite girls - sara and sierra. we went to see the new hannah montana movie and upon coming out of the theater, were greeted by a winter wonderland.

i, however, was not amused. i am a huge fan of snow in winter. when the snow comes after i've put all my winter gear away, ..... that's when i lose my patience. celebrating spring break by wiping the six inches of snow of my car was not planned for. worse yet, wearing canvas shoes while trudging through wet white stuff was, dare i say, not in the agenda.

i appreciate the magestic beauty of this natural powder enough to take some photographs in order to document this odd occurence. that is all. now i'm ready for sun and warmth and all the happy things that supposedly come with the onset of spring. will i ever see it? is there an end to this madness anywhere in sight?

i pray there is.

oh, and the hannah montana movie? loved it! absolutely loved it. i laughed, i cried, i wanted to see it again right away. here are some pics of our adventure:

great way to start the day!

my friend ivy posted this on her blog, which she originally saw on another blog. it made me so happy that I couldn't resist posting it here.

"chunky"

i hope you have a wonderful day!

i love bees

the secret life of bees is one of the best movies i have seen in a very long time!

for those of you who may be unfamiliar, this is a top-selling book turned into a movie. full of emotion, soul-searching, forgiveness, and the trials that come with real life this story is one that can teach its audience so many lessons.

my favorite lesson from this movie? everyone needs to be loved!!! the most basic need in each human life, yet it requires us to love ourselves, love others, and allow others to love us. i think we all get to the point when we need a reminder of this very concept. i know i sure do!

for more of my posts on needing, giving, and accepting love,
click here (for "we all wanna believe in love") or here (for the peterson family christmas story of love).