August 13, 2009

surgery, pain pills, and love = perfect experience

i will begin this post with a vow to greatly improve the frequency of my posting. the last month flew by before i got used to the idea of it being there in the first place. now it is august -- the start of a new school year and therefore, a new start to my blogging.

my time has recently ceased to be my own. my dear momma had knee replacement surgery and i volunteered to be her own personal "nurse". this has been a sweet experience and i will cherish these memories we're making forever.

i couldn't tell you when the last time my momma had a true 'vacation' -- she doesn't know how to completely relax for more than a few hours. that's why surgery was the perfect time-out from life before another busy semester started.

i wish i could remember all the funny things she has said. we were sure she'd be a hoot to watch while on pain meds, and that she has been. disconnected thoughts at opportune times and innocent confusion have brought loads of laughter. the most tender of moments have been when she suddenly tears up without warning and looks so innocently childlike. one example i'll share was just yesterday when she wanted to work on our purses.

{we've started a business together "PURSE-onality Plus": making purses out of old books and game boards ---- go to to view some of our collection}

mom was spurting out "to-do" lists into the air without thought of where they were going or if they were even being written down, although i was still finishing a task she had asked me to do just seconds before. my mind was already overflowing with her directions for other things when my frustration became even more visible with every sound she made. i left the room to get an item she needed and when i came back she looked at me with shiny eyes and said, "lacey, i'm sorry. i can't help it. i can't do anything. i just want to make purses and i want you to want to make purses with me." tears spilled over as she got to the end of what she was saying. that instantly warmed my heart and washed away the tension.... i love this woman more than i could ever express in words. i want to help her and i want her to be happy. i gave her a hug and kissed her on the forehead, promising we would work on purses together in her bedroom.

serving others is the best way to feel sincere love for them. Jesus Christ taught that through all His words and deeds. though i will never fully reach His degree of charity in this lifetime, my goal is to become as He is. i just have to remember: baby steps, step by little step.

later, when she was more lucid, she told me that i am much like my daddy in the way that i like to have all of my tasks organized - at least in my head - and accomplish them in a tidy manner. i guess with everything else in the world so chaotic, we all have to find some kind of stability.