c.o.d. = stress

that was what the paramedics would have said when they pronounced me dead. have you ever heard of death by stress? the last semester of school has convinced me it is possible. my consciousness was especially touch-and-go there for the last few weeks. i felt like i was dying, or even that i had died and ended up in the fiery dungeons of the after-life.

go here for a british article on a sudden death due to stress, here to learn about the top 7 ways stress can kill you, go here for a fox news story on enron's founder who died of a heart attack  -- was it brought on by stress? and go here for an almost comical tale showcasing how stress can dupe us. there is proof that stress can do much harm to the human body -- even if you don't notice signs or of it. the mind has a way of numbing itself to pain or negative emotions and experiences.

{image found at washington post, click on it to go to the page for a bigger picture}

don't hate; this picture describes the effects of stress on the body. i find it so interesting how the body responds to difficult situations. we are very resilient beings, yet we do put our bodies through a lot. *oh, and did you know that excessive stress can make your hair start to fall out? yeah... scary, huh?

spending many nights huddled over the computer reading and typing and typing and thinking, trying to keep up with all of my responsibilities... it takes its toll. being awake for 30 hours straight, sleeping for 12, then jumping right back into the hours and hours of work left to do was the constant. i guess that might be why life had a dream-like quality to it {and i'm not talking 'fluffy clouds and rainbows' dreams}

in any case, i feel as though i have just crawled out from the cold, lonely cave of college -- where in isolation i had only two choices: 1) study and homework, or 2) procrastinate {my preferred activities being cleaning and organizing}. it's amazing how many hours i spent working on organizing my room in the last four months, still never getting to the end result.

now that yesterday was the end of finals, my body is slowly coming out of a kind of shock. the dark is turning into light and i realize that time did not stand still while i struggled to maintain my sanity.

it is a little sad to think that somehow the last four months happened and i have little recollection of them. it feels like just two weeks ago my family and i were in portland with my sweet sund and t, or since momma got her knee replacement. i didn't even leave the house on halloween. wasn't my birthday/thanksgiving just a few days ago? how did it get to be the week before Christmas? even my tradition of dressing up red and green has been low-key and barely festive at all.

i better get a triple shot of holiday spirit in my arm before it suddenly turns into the month of may! if you have any ideas to make it feel more like Christmas, please please let me know.