June 20, 2010

shattered, bruised, {and} broken

"each of us will have our own fridays - those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. we all will experience those b r o k e n  times when it seems we can never be put together again. we will all have our fridays. but i testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death: sunday will come. in the darkness of our sorrow, sunday will come. no matter our desperation, no matter our grief, sunday will come. in this life or the next, sunday w i l l  come!"


i think this quote is a source of great comfort!

many times in the past - and even more so recently - i've felt my world was shattered. like pieces of a broken mirror, too minuscule and scattered to be repaired,  encompassed around my feet to revive the knowledge of my powerlessness.
found here

in the twelve steps {at least the e.d.a. version my group uses}, step one states:
" we admitted we were powerless over our [addiction] - that our lives had become unmanageable.
we finally had to admit that what we were doing wasn't working. "

step one can be the hardest and longest of all the steps... and - at least for me - it is the most recurring step.

i tend to get into cycles where i get prideful and believe i can handle everything in my life without Heavenly Father's help. when this happens, my life swirls back into being unmanageable and i am brought back down into a state of humility as i remember that i can do nothing without God's help. these are my 'fridays'... and sometimes i wonder if there really is any other day of the week out there.

from a marvelous talk by elder bruce c. hafen, **found here**
or in a byu magazine with this picture, found here

taking such a big load during such a fast term was not one of my smartest decisions. all of the related stress combined with everything else on my plate feels symbolic of chains on my feet. with my universe seemingly shattered, i find refuge and solace in recognizing the only solution is to cling to my Savior. being shattered, bruised, and broken, He is the only one who can help me break the bonds of trial and affliction and return me to a state of peace.

i want to feel of the Savior's light and love again. i want his help to deal with my unmanageable life, so i am again entrusting the Lord with my heart and my will. i think this piece of art by greg olsen perfectly depict how i feel right now.

greg olsen - "forgiven"
click here for gallery

so... will things get better? can things get better?
of course they can and will!

with the help of Jesus Christ, my Savior and Redeemer