Wednesday, September 7

flawed

i myself am made entirely out of flaws;
stitched together with good intentions.
-kaylie kofford

words from a friend, so i cannot take credit for them. however, her words describe perfectly my thoughts this week.


it is not uncommon for me to say and do so many flawed things - mistakes, really - which i then obsess over, over and over and over again.



honestly, at times i question why i open my mouth and leave home at all.


soooooo...
why am i telling you this?


i have said many times on this blog how not perfect i am, yet i keep measuring myself against that perfection stick and then use it to mentally beat myself up.




well, lately i have been overly critical of a particular person. i get extremely annoyed with this person. i get irritated quite easily. it's as if i'm seeing their flaws with a magnifying glass.

then i realized:
wait, lacey!!!!
maybe i'm the one who has the biggest flaw...

i usually love everyone. even people that others would label "unlovable." what was my problem with this particular person?

why did i feel this person was "too flawed" to be loved?


exactly.
this person wasn't.
no one is.


it was my own impatience. my own frustration. my own selfishness.
taking a moment to see them as a child of God, with a heart and important feelings, helped me remember that we all deserve to be loved and cared about.


so how do i work on my flaws?
{my many, many flaws}


awareness is definitely the first step, but it's only the first step.


if i want to drive somewhere in a car with a standard transmission, after starting in first gear i have to shift gears in order to make progress. and i definitely cannot stay in neutral and simply roll wherever the terrain takes me.









since awareness is the first step, the second one is creating new skills to change out the old. the third one is getting into action.

the new skill for this particular flaw: continual reminders to myself of the worth of souls. this gave me patience. this gave me a desire to love. this gave me a desire to serve.

the desire to serve led to the third step of getting into action.


yes, as my friend said:
i myself am made entirely out of flaws; stitched together with good intentions.

but Christ is the greatest patch-work quilter of all.