September 1, 2012

fragile, not broken

all the "so much" that has happened during the time i have not been blogging consistently has caught up with me and i will have a picture-filled post here very shortly.

today, though, is about the not-so-pretty emotions and remembering to see things as they really are.

when i arrived in the month of april this year, part of me was extremely surprised i had made it there alive. my entire being felt battered and bruised. as i continued to work towards the future of graduation, while having to rehash the past in order to complete senior projects, i felt even more broken than ever.

broken. and stuck.

a couple of nights ago, my sister reminded me of a token-gift she once gave me: a sand dollar.
she found a whole sand dollar on the northwest coast, unbroken, amidst the sand and rocks and other broken sand dollars.

this sand dollar had managed to stay completely intact, though by nature it is extremely fragile and on the beach or in the ocean is continually vulnerable.

the fact remained: the sand dollar was not broken like so many usually can be.

sometimes a sand dollar might even get stuck in the soggy sand.

yet even still, with great care and patience, one can usually get the sand dollar out of the wet sand without breaking any pieces.

are we so unlike these sand dollars?

some in the ocean, some on the sand.
some getting stepped on. some getting pushed around by the waves they can't control.
some get to lay silent and still after their treacherous journeys.
others get stuck and need help in order to free themselves from the situations or circumstances they find themselves in.

life is hard, isn't it?
there are so very many reasons to tire of the daily grind and the constant work to keep your head above water, especially when you aren't getting the results you want -- or need.

this little visual hit me hard.
and did my heart good.

maybe you know me well enough to be aware of and understand why i might have wanted to fall apart in the recent weeks. why i have sometimes been close to getting there.

i believe most everyone gets to that point of feeling like you're about to break.
maybe you feel like you're already broken?

i want to tell you today that i believe i'm one of those little unbroken sand dollars.
i believe most of us are.
we're remaining unbroken, even through our fragility.
this shows we're stronger than even we knew we were!!!

how have i managed to stay unbroken, myself?
well, i know i have a Savior who picks me up to protect me from breaking when i can't protect myself.

i also know that i have been blessed to be surrounded by amazing people -- amazing sand dollars who have found their strength and are now showing me through their example how to remain strong; how to not break.

strength in numbers, right? :)

we're all so different, but there is a similarity between us: strength that comes from the love of God. i am grateful for the trust He puts in me.

hope you know, though maybe fragile, your unbroken spirit is beautiful and i love you!! i'm grateful you're a part of my life.

have a love-filled day.