February 12, 2018

always learning

i was pleasantly surprised by the number of views my 2-part post (pt 1 here and pt 2 here) received.
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thank you!

hopefully we can all continue these important conversations going on within the Mormon church, and without.

because these are not "Mormon problems."
they are human problems.

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as a social worker and an insatiably curious soul, "human problems" are my jam.
i am continually seeking to understand all humans and find ways to unify humanity as a whole.
and that starts with accepting my ignorance.


sure, sometimes "ignorance is bliss" does ring true.
i can't subscribe to this belief, though, because i always prefer to know - even when it hurts - rather than obliviously enjoying life because i don't know.

since we're all ignorant before learning better, i feel like there's a special sort of solidarity in the learning process. i believe education can change the world; learning new information seems to constantly change the way i view myself and brings clarity to the way the world works.

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in my last post, i included a link to josh weed's viral post announcing the end of his mixed-orientation marriage. the following is a quote from that post:
my dear friend... turned to me one day and said “Josh, you realize your sexual orientation is beautiful, right? Not just tolerable. It’s beautiful . . .”
*cue my tears*

josh's experience echoed one of my own from early december:

in the midst of a medium-sized breakdown, feeling more hopeless than i had in a very long while, i reached out to a {straight, Mormon} friend over text. i shared with this friend how intensely i felt the normally-muted cognitive dissonance. i struggled to find words that adequately expressed the soul-wrenching desperation i felt in those moments.

feeling just about ready to crawl out of my skin, i received a text message that instantly comforted my soul --

"...you aren't a mistake...
you aren't a problem to be ignored.
you're a daughter of God."

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a message so simple, yet so profound.


it reminded me of a book i was sent out-of-the-blue by as loved one when i most needed it. i know i've referred to it before {because it's the best book ever}.

the hero's journey, by carol lynn pearson

carol lynn pearson throws out the idea that maybe, instead of seeing "gay" as a sin or something awful, it actually brings with it its own collection of blessings, gifts, and characteristics for the benefiting of others.

in order to fully utilize these talents for helping others, we must get to the very core of who we are. we have to stop running from the truth.


over the last 3 and 1/2 years, after a lot of heartache, by searching through the research, records, and opinions of others, my faith and beliefs have grown and been refined.
they are still being refined!



there are countless articles, blogposts, opinion editorials, podcasts, and books that help offer insight into lgbt+ issues.


i am painfully aware of my ignorance and hope to always be learning.