twenty-six goals

the other night a dear friend of mine took me out for hot chocolate {ya know... because us mormons don't drink coffee} to celebrate my birthday.

as we sat and talked, this friend asked me
what i thought this next year might bring
and what my goals were for year twenty-six.

suddenly i had a flashback of last year's birthday ----

who i was

where i was

what i was doing

places i was headed

looking back, i never would have guessed things would go the way they did.
my life is so different -- i am so different -- from just twelve months ago!
if my life can change so drastically in that time,
there's no telling what might happen in the coming year.

seeing as it was my golden birthday -- turning 26 on the 26th of november -- i decided i wanted to do something special for myself. i wanted to push myself and make myself better.

though i'm always trying to improve myself, i figure working on 26 goals to complete before my 27th birthday is a good way to stay actively engaged in the cause. so in the last four days, this is what i have come up with:

twenty-six goals for my golden twenty-sixth

1. learn how to make panna cotta and creme brulee
2. get accepted into a master of social work program
3. go on a date every month
4. tone my arms to satisfaction
5. read the book of mormon in its entirety
6. attend the temple monthly
7. learn the life stories of one ancestor on each side of my family tree
8. read at least one good book each month
9.  become a proficient seamstress, or at least be able to adequately mend clothing
10. go horseback riding
11. get a passport
12. visit another country
13. go camping
14. attend a concert for a favorite musician/band
15. get a professional back massage
16. read the old testament, start to finish
17. read the new testament, start to finish
18. create and maintain a healthy sleep schedule
19. lose 25 lbs in a healthy way with a healthy attitude
20. learn {or relearn} to play an instrument {piano/guitar} at a beginner's level
21. learn several cute ways to style my own hair
22. take the time and care to look my best
23. actively work on improving my singing voice
24. find opportunities to share my talents
25. teach myself practical dance moves
26. take at least one risk every week

as a health educator, i know that these goals do not all qualify as s.m.a.r.t. goals, but ....
i don't care.

and the deadline is the 26th of november in one year.
i have dreams.
i hope we all do.

birthdays are an important and special time to reevaluate those dreams and figure out how we can make them come true.

this year i celebrated my previous achievements and i'm creating opportunities to accomplish even more.

golden

on the eve of my birthday, i wanted to write something.....
but i wasn't sure what.

however, since i was born on thanksgiving day twenty-six years ago when thanksgiving landed on the twenty-sixth day of november......


i decided i would write twenty-six things i am grateful for!
i'm giving myself the gift of gratitude...

after all, they say "the root of joy is gratefulness." -david steindl-rast

26 statements of gratitude

for my golden

26 years on the 26th of november

{in no particular order}

1. i made it to be age 26!! there were times when i didn't think i would get here.
2. i'm soooo grateful that God put dark chocolate on the earth. talk about joy to the world.
3. i am so grateful for the truest and most uplifting friends who have loved me, taught me, and helped me along my path.
4. i stand in awe of amazing "angels in disguise" {aka relief society presidents, visiting teachers, home teachers, bishops, random people off the street, etc} who bless lives without realizing the huge impact they have.
5. i'm grateful i have gained a greater understanding that beauty really does come from the inside, and it doesn't depend on body fat or weight.
6. learning that some relationships are not meant to be, at least for now, i'm so grateful i have been able to distance myself for the sake of sanity and spirituality.
7. the poem "footprints" is a bunch of bologna -- there is only ever one pair of footprints because the Lord is always carrying us and i am so grateful He has carried me even when, at times, i was trying to push Him away.
8. i am so grateful for the trials that shape me into the person i am becoming.
9. i am grateful for a Heavenly Father who knows my every need and my heart's desires.
10. i am grateful for an amazing aunt who has become my mentor and friend, teaching me and guiding me.
11. i delight in the simple things and am grateful for the Lord's tender mercies.
12. even though i get frustrated with its many frailties, i am grateful for the body i have and the many things it has endured. it functions so well, considering.
13. i have come to love change and even crave it. i'm grateful for that adaptability.
14. associating with younger people, i realize how grateful i am to have surpassed the "boy-crazy" phase.
15. i love people. i deeply love others and i'm grateful for each and every relationship i have. i refuse to take anyone for granted.
16. i'm grateful for my "off" or negative days because they make the happy ones that much sweeter.
17. music is the best thing in the world ---mandisa and plumb and all the christian music i love--- it is happiness. i am grateful for artists who create good music.
18. i'm grateful for online broadcasting of television shows. yes, i said that. i am grateful that i can watch shows whenever i want with peace and quiet.
19. color brings me so much joy that i can't help but be grateful for it! there are so many colors and so many hues. the combinations are endless.
20. i am grateful for my previous roommates. i adore them. they were silly and sweet and sassy and wonderful. i miss them.
21. i'm grateful for my niece. that punkin brings so much joy into my heart, i don't quite know what to do with it all!
22. i am grateful for my siblings --- each i love for different and distinct reasons.
23. i am grateful to my parents, the people who brought me into this world on thanksgiving day 26 years ago.
24. i am grateful for Christmas --- the love, joy, magic, music, service, care, and everything else that the holiday brings. the season provokes love and gratitude for me.
25. sleep is a beautiful thing that i'm still working at mastering, but i am grateful for it nonetheless.
26. i'm grateful for technology that keeps me in contact with dear ones so far away.

i think tomorrow i will write 26 goals to complete before i'm 27....

we'll see :)

for now, treat yourself to a cupcake or dark chocolate.

it's my birthday. i want everyone to be happy! :)

unmarried

"it is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife."

those infamous words written by jane austen in her beloved pride and prejudice were astonishingly written 200 years ago. despite their age, the meaning of these words effortlessly translate into modern society's "universally acknowledged" beliefs...


and, if you are from a "mormon" state - particularly utah - you will be able to confirm the culturally accepted judgment that a girl of 25 years, being unmarried, must obviously be qualified as an "old maid."

{ok, maybe not an old maid. yet. but she is definitely considered old and past her prime marrying age.}

having lived in utah a good portion of my life, i have been keenly aware of this cloud of misfortune awaiting me. somehow i had a sense early on that i would not be entering any matrimonial vows before the age of condemnation {aka 25} ...

as i watched my dear friends drop off like flies, one by one...

it was sort of similar to a bittersweet funeral; i was so happy for each friend and their new life they were embarking on. i was also terribly sad that this new beginning signified the end of "single life" hang outs.

that's ok - it's good. that's how life is supposed to be.

and yet, those friends you had such wonderful bonds with - friendships you wanted to last forever - are stretched to the breaking point.

it's a......

......."don't worry, we'll see each other!"

.................."you can come over and have dinner with us!"

............................."it's not like i'm never going to see you again..."

final goodbye.

this kind of stretching mocks the very integrity of friendship's bond.
be careful! it might snap!


ok, so maybe i'm exaggerating a little.
but do you want to know an unexaggerated truth?

my friends are getting younger and younger .....and younger.
well, it's not like i was known for letting age have any relevance on my relationships.... if you know me you know that very well.

i'm from a family who has always been of the belief that age is relative.


still! when the majority of your friends used to be years older than you and slowly transition to being years younger than you, it dawns on you that you might be needing to be in a different stage of life..... but that stage just isn't coming.

i'm not going to just sit around waiting for prince charming to come find me.

i've been working on this blog post for almost a week and on saturday this lovely article started trending all over facebook ---- my single cousin, a person in my singles ward, a random person who i didn't know was single again - all these people shared the article about being an older mormon young single adult.


as i prepare to officially join the "over 25" crowd, i have thought about what being an "older single" means to me. i look at my friends who got married right out of high school or shortly thereafter and you know what?? they are some of the most amazing moms ever. they really seem to have everything figured out. if i ever get the chance to be a mom, i want to take a few pages from their books!

i honestly wasn't emotionally or spiritually ready to be a partner, until this year, in a real relationship with a man.
i say "man" because regardless of age, i now know the difference between boys and men. just as i know the difference between who i was {a girl} and who i am now {a woman}.
so.... whether he's 22 or 32, it's a toss up over which one will be the boy and which one will be the man.

i hope all the boys will just grow up!
but that's probably a little too much to ask for....



what it boils down to is this:

the people who told me i would definitely be married by the age of 25....

you lose

:)

i'm glad i have had this time to improve myself and learn who i am.
Heavenly Father has it all in His control.
He leads, i follow.


for now, that means staying unmarried.
and living life to the fullest.

thanksgiving ambassador

yesterday as i was organizing some stuff in the den, my eight year old cousin started to complain about my Christmas music playing from my phone. our conversation went like this:

joseph: Christmas music!? you can't play Christmas music! it's not even Christmas!
me: oh! but joseph, if we waited until Christmas to play Christmas music we wouldn't have enough time to listen to all the wonderful music!
{he didn't have a response, but he was noticeably unhappy}
me: joseph, while i'm in here cleaning and organizing i'm going to be playing this music. if you don't like it, i'm sure you can listen to something else upstairs.
{he quickly retreated to his room upstairs}
                                                      .... 2 minutes later ....
joseph: {yelling down to me from the top of the stairs} hey lacey! how about you play november music!
me: Christmas music is november music!
{joseph had nothing to say about that and i didn't hear from him again until a little later when i had turned off my music :) }

i run into this every year --- Christmas music scrooges all over the place.
"you can't play it until after halloween"
"wait! you can't play it until after thanksgiving"
"no! you can't play it until the first day of december!"

seriously????
ok, i understand the halloween thing, but why are people such sticklers about nothing being played until after thanksgiving?


i was born on thanksgiving day. furthermore, i was born at 2:44pm MST, when many people are eating their thanksgiving meals. why do i bring this up?

years ago the thought occurred to me that this fact gave me the self-imposed authority to be the thanksgiving ambassador. here are my reasons why Christmas music and Christmas in general, is allowable during the month of november:

1. thanksgiving does not come equipped with its own music
2. thanksgiving is supposed to be all about gratitude and loved ones, not just about eating a pretty bird
3. if we tap into that thanksgiving gratitude, we realize that it beautifully compliments the Christmas qualities of love, charity, and joy --- aren't these wonderful things to be felt and experienced together??
4. it is not impossible to celebrate two holidays at once
5. playing Christmas music in november allows the holiday season to feel a bit longer than it usually does, in a nice way
6. finally: the joy and excitement that comes from listening to Christmas music acts as a catalyst for kindness towards our fellowmen

so honestly, who wouldn't want to spread Christmas cheer?

isn't listening to a little josh groban or michael buble Christmas enough to soften a cold heart and make you want to invite all those scroogey people in for some chicken noodle soup?

better yet, some leftover thanksgiving goodies!

i don't know about you, but my Christmas playlist is set to go.
no scrooge is going to mess with my joy!


---thanksgiving ambassador signing off.

virginia hugs {and} kisses

i haven't written about settling into virginia life, but it's been wonderful to experience it!
autumn out here in the east has been delightful and there really is nothing i can complain about....

ok, except for the bugs. there are truly so many more bugs and little critters out here than in utah. the humidity attracts all shapes, sizes, and species. it's not enough to make me dislike this environment, but i definitely won't ever get used to looking down after putting my dirty clothes in my closet to see a cricket.... or waking up to a stink bug crawling on my face. that is just not something I even want to be on my "norm" radar.

what to do with a cricket in your room during the night? kill it, of course.

other than those fun creatures, i lead a fairly simple existence.
and that is quite alright with me...
despite my initial response to feel guilty or ashamed.

i always feel like i need to be doing more or helping in other ways -- that i cannot be lazy.
i have to balance those feelings with fears of being annoying and an ever-constant presence in a home where a little over a month ago i was only a niece/cousin mentioned occasionally in conversation and seen maybe two or three times every ten years.

however, these are my perceptions and not how i am treated nor what is expected of me.
i couldn't have asked for a better life at this moment.
i am getting to know, love, and adore family i never knew i was missing.

on our way to the pumpkin patch, {minus} a missing uncle glen who was working

living here has been more than a blessing; i have been liberated and am being empowered.
i'm learning so much about who i am and why i do what i do.
because these wonderful people are related to me by blood, i gain a lot of insight to idiosyncrasies passed down through the generations (i.e. sorting trick-or-treat candy and other o.c.d.-like tendencies)

i get to spend time with an amazing aunt who is the most fabulous mother to her boys
and an incredible relief society president to the women in her ward.
i want to be like her ... "when i grow up." seriously, though. i love learning from her example.
i also have loved being able to go to the washington d.c. temple with her

ok, so we need to get a better pic... for now this selfie will have to do

i dreamed of going into the d.c. temple ever since i was a little child, singing with my family on Christmas eve in the temple visitor center. looking straight through the glass windows to see the majesty of the shining temple while singing songs of the baby Jesus - those are my first recollections of feeling the spirit. i waited for so long to be able to go into my favorite temple --- my temple. and it was glorious. it was wonderful sharing that experience with my wonderful aunt, as well.

i have a wonderful young single adult ward out here. it's small, but it's perfect and everyone gets along. it definitely feels different than some of the wards i had in utah. i like it. i made friends and even have a crush! haha look at me, just assimilating so easily... just kidding. i really have loved how wonderful the people are, though. and friends make everything so much better.

fire alarm decided to go off in the middle of church; we decided it was a good polaroid moment

sometimes i start to miss certain people -- my wonderful siblings and close friends who have been such wonderful examples to me, whom I love and adore. however, i know that my life is here now. whatever is going to happen, it's going to happen here.

i was led to this place and i want to be who Heavenly Father wants me to be.
i continually try to improve myself -- it's hard to be so completely human with countless weaknesses and failures. i'm just grateful for so many wonderful angels in the form of friends - past and present, near and far - that help me along my way.

i just hope i help some people along their way so i can pay it forward.

this song was shown to me by one of my favoritest people ever. now i love it.



wishing you warm hugs and kisses from beautiful virginia!
i promise to write again soon :)